Okay, I would like to clear the air before I type what I want to say. I have nothing against women who feel called to be mothers and nurture their children and do not work outside the home. My mother is this type of woman, and I love her to death. She continues to help me in almost every aspect of my life. And those who say that being a mother is not like having a job, then they have never been a mother. Moms work just as hard as anyone else, but they don't get paid for it... at least monetarily. All of this to say, hooray for stay-at-home moms. I love each of you.
HOWEVER...
As a twenty year old, I am not looking to pop out a kid anytime soon. Heck, I'm not even dating anyone right now (praise God above!) so that opportunity seems to be limited. So when someone asks me "Oh, since you are graduating soon, are you engaged yet or already married?" what exactly should my reply be? I think, as sarcastic as I am, my reply was pretty gracious... "Well, I do graduate soon, but no I'm not dating anyone. Nor do I think I need to be at this moment in time. I have too many opportunities that a serious relationship could potentially destroy. But thanks for asking." Did that sound so bad? You would think I just called him/her the Antichrist by the looks I was given.
When did society decide it was acceptable for a man to graduate college as a bachelor, but not a female? Is my degree not valued as highly if I'm single when I get it? Why should I graduate and immediately plunge into marriage? Ha, I will barely be 21 when I walk across the stage!
Another thing: when talking to someone about their dreams and where they think God is leading them in their life, don't reply with "Oh dear, do you really think God would let a woman do that kind of work? Do you think He wants you to work instead of becoming a mom? When will you have time to raise your kids and take care of your husband? Are you sure you want to go to medical school, when you could find the right man, settle down and start your family instead?" Now, my response to this bombardment of questioning was to simply walk away. Which is better than what I wanted to say to him/her. Someone who still thinks the world revolves around the male gender and that women should get educated, but marry off and never use said education, is not worth my time.
What is the Christian view on this subject? Are women just as allowed to have careers and forgo starting a family as men are? Or is it a double standard because women are, by nature, the more caring of the two? Am I, as a Christian woman, socially accepted if I never marry and adopt my children instead of pushing them out myself? Should I, as this same Christian woman, care if I am socially accepted or not?
For an ending: No, I am not a man-hater. I have many great men in my life who I respect and cherish. Yes, I have accepted the fact that I might never marry and be pregnant with a biological child, but what kid would seriously want my genes anyway? Yes, I understand I am only 20 and God has something magnificent waiting for me... but why does this magnificent thing I am waiting for have to be a man? Why can't people accept that sometimes a person is called to do something (like international missions or medicine or a kindergarten teacher or a rancher or whatever) and they don't need a lifelong partner to be happy or to help them along during the journey? Right now, that's where I am. I don't feel called to be a mom like my Mom or my Memaw or my aunt Val or the countless other women in my life that feel that's what God made them to do. I guess I just don't understand why I'm considered taboo (maybe not that harsh of a word, but that's what it seems like sometimes) because I am choosing a different path to follow than the usual "go to college, find the perfect guy, and get married before you experience life on your own" deal. No thanks. I don't want it, regardless of how badly my friends do or that one my best friends actually did that, kinda (Ha Christen, you followed it all the way to Virginia!) I realize that God has set that path for people, and I fully support them if they feel that is what God wants for them. But I don't think I'm meant for that. And it's weird that I am at total peace with that. Right?
Sorry, really long. Just thought I would share stuff I've been struggling with recently! If I offended anyone, I apologize. Just had some honest questions about Christian culture and the equality of women in that culture. Whatever!
I'm only $800 away from completely paying off my trip to Guatemala... God has definitely provided for me, even though I was skeptical. So thanks to everyone who donated, from Hurst Texas to the Peruvian jungle!
Yay for summer school and Kent graduating soon!
Playground
12 years ago
