Sunday, March 28, 2010

Cranium Kids: employer.
Mesquite, TX: current location.
It's complicated: relationship status.
Mexican: comfort food.
No idea: future plans.

I wake up each morning with a new, crazy idea in my head. At least I think it's new, until I get out of bed, get ready for work and realize "Viv, you thought this exact same thing yesterday... what is wrong with you?"

My new job is awesome. Teaching 2-5 yr. olds how to use computers doesn't sound very enjoyable, but it is. "Ms. Vivee, your shoes are very nice." "Ms. Vivee, my clicker finger hurts, can I borrow yours?" "I don't feel like saying vocabulary today, Ms. Vivee, can we just skip to the game?" The kids I work with are so adorable and innocent. None of them know, or could understand, about my experience 2+ months ago. It is my escape each day, and I get paid for it... what could be better?

Moving back home has been an adjustment for everyone involved. Especially with no car. My parents have been super supportive and understanding and have given me space (and the use of their cars). However, because I overachieved and didn't like my alma mater until my last semester and graduated a year early, none of my closest friends are home. So I'm alone. At least I don't have to worry about what I'm going to do when I get off work!

I wanted to write "my emotional stability has increased in the past four months" but that isn't true: I have no stability, besides my job. I no longer have total security in my faith or beliefs. Things I saw, and things I had to do, in that soccer field the night of the earthquake have changed me in ways I cannot explain to myself or anyone else. I'm struggling and taking it out on people I love, which is what always happens right?

Applications for Physician Assistant school open in the middle of April, so that's my plan for now. Don't know where I'm applying but hopefully I can figure that out within the next month or so. I am employed in the DFW area until August, so I will be here until then. After that, who knows...