School is for suckers

I love my job.

Homesick.

I'm going through a period of missing people. I waited for as long as possible to put up pictures from home in my room here. I made it until Thursday.

It doesn't help when you're sick and your mom is 1795 miles away. I'm getting better though, slowly.

School is going super well, and I love what I do with Heartline on Tuesdays and sometimes Thursdays.


Time for Criminal Minds with Paige and Megan... but they are sitting far away from me!

Damages

Everyone has chains keeping them connected with the life they lived before Christ opened their eyes and changed them forever. Past struggles and pains have made us into who we are; however, if we truly, sincerely, whole-heartedly believe that Jesus wipes away our past and gives us a new future in Him, why do we continually use our baggage as an excuse to not do what He has called us to do?

I moved to Haiti because I knew God wanted me here for this phase of life. I moved to help a missionary family. I moved because I didn't want to go to grad school and didn't know what I was going to do instead. I moved because I had nothing holding me to Texas anymore... WHATEVER.

I came because it was an easy out. I know, sounds weird/insane to consider moving here 'easy'. My heart was a mess and I didn't want to deal with what was floating inside my head. Really, moving was nothing. I wasn't nervous. I was excited to escape for awhile. To experience something on my own, something no one in my family has done. Something I have dreamed of doing since Mrs. Houser wore her African dress and spoke about learning Swahili during a Vacation Bible School in 3rd grade.

Escape has not come. If anything, Port au Prince has been the opposite. This city makes me see my own depravity in a way I couldn't have at home. Port makes me examine my relationship with Christ everyday and focus on the walls I have built so that I could still hold onto those chains. Granted, if I would have sought out Jesus at home He would've have worked in me and probably shown me the same things about myself. But I didn't do it.

It has taken me five years to get to this point. I still have a tight grip on my luggage, but I'm slowly letting go.

I receive weekly emails from my church in Lubbock and this week's was an intense slap in the face:

"Bitterness is more lethal than betrayal. Betrayal happens to you; bitterness happens in you. Betrayal is what is done by others to you. Bitterness is what you do to yourself. Scripture talks about “the root of bitterness springing up and defiling.” You can recover from betrayal but bitterness is a different story. Many today have experienced betrayal by a mate, friend, co-worker or someone who was a confidant. A relationship turning sour is painful. While Jesus sat and ate with his disciples he made these remarks, “One of you will betray me.” Betray disguised in a kiss - what a blow. Yet Jesus was unfazed by it refusing to become bitter.

'Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don't yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude.' Ephesians 4:31

Bitter-free living, it doesn’t get any better than that. Forgive and cancel the debt. Remove all words of bitterness from future conversations. Stop nursing the grudge. Bitterness won’t leave on its own. You must send it away. Bitterness is overcome by the most powerful “ness” called forgiveness. May your days ahead be marked by joyfulness."

Amen.

Let me see that tootsie roll!

The Livesays have returned, and Megan and I are happy. It was fun to be a parent for twelve days, and I even got to be a 1am nightmare comforter, but believe me when I say "Praise Jesus for Troy and Tara."

In their packing expertise, I received: 1. Package from my mom (including raspberry lemonade mixes, tootsie roll pops, Woolite, cartoons, gum, vitamins, granola bars and a sweet card); 2. new underwear!; 3. Halloween candy (which will be used for the tiny Livesay fam October 31st celebration... I'm not totally selfish); 4. a Minnesotan apple, which Tara claims is the best apple on Earth; 5. Spanish textbooks (also from my mom); 6. MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF TOOTSIE ROLLS. I'm talking over 250 chocolate delights that I will consider sharing with the right person.

I'm in a great mood! And I watched the newest Office episode and almost wet my pants laughing so hard... watch it. Please. You will be in tears.

A dance video is being put together from the past two weeks... it will be uploaded when the internet decides to cooperate. WELCOME BACK: Troy, Tara, Paige, Isaac, and Noah! Enjoy changing diapers again! :)

Was that Renald?

I spend very little time at my house right now, but when I am here, Renald is too. He generally runs around the table, dragging stickers behind him, and cries. However, last night a funny thing happened...

He farted. Not just a quiet, little fart. A huge one. Megan and I laughed for an extended period of time. He didn't know what do, so he started running around and screaming. It was hilarious. Turns out it wasn't just noise. Oh well. Worth the laugh.

I began the potty-training adventure whole-heartedly, only to be annihilated by Phoebe's uncanny way of not answering questions. She understands what to do, and has even used the toilet successfully multiple times; however, once toilet water has been splashed all over the floor, myself, and her monkey, I have hit my limit. Yes, I hate changing her massive poopy diapers... but Tara and Troy return on Friday and it won't be my job anymore. :) Goodbye $100. I got close.

Today was fun. Hope read half of One Fish, Two Fish before lunch and did a terrific job. She is super excited to see the fam return. I did her hair today... it is interesting. She loves it though, so I guess I did okay.

We danced, we ate, we jumped, we watched Criminal Minds, we played dress-up, we took silly pictures, and we didn't poop in the toilet.

Diri

Hope is learning to appreciate classic movies this week. And we are beginning with my favorite: Hitchcock's Rear Window.

In other news, Lydia is herself this week. She probably misses her parents but she is not showing it.


Teaching is going very well with just Hopie. We get to spend extra time with reading and she is super pumped to read a book to Tara and Troy when they get back!

I'm trying to figure out my post-Haiti future. Not because I want to but because health insurance wants me to. So, I need some prayer. Thanks in advance.

Leaving you with some Livesay fun...